Hosting a Pity Party

Everyone gets in a funk from time to time.

One thing bad happens. We can’t react quickly enough and smack – another one poorly timed event comes rolling our way like a boulder.

When it rains, it pours.

For me, it’s been pouring for almost a month now.

I’ve felt unproductive, ineffective, lazy, and all the rest. Slowly though, I’ve been doing a little bit more each day.

Day 1: I slept in late, got up in a shitty mood, ate like crap, played games, but I made my bed.

That was all I did towards improving my life – I made my bed. But it felt good.

It felt good to feel like I did something productive. Most days making my bed doesn’t even register as a significant accomplishment.

Starting from nothing though it was something.

Day 2: Mostly the same as the previous day, but I wrote in my journal too. Mainly this was Day 1 +1.

Slowly I’m crawling my way out. A little over a week later I could start working again. Clocking in a few hours each day.

One of the biggest challenges these past weeks has been my motivation. My tank is so low compared to normal. But it’s getting stronger. I can feel it.

Heck, I haven’t written a blog here in a while either. And these only take about ten or fifteen minutes. Not exactly strenuous.

Talking to people has helped a lot. It helps to know you’re not alone in a struggle.

The advice the surprised me the most was after I told a mentor that I needed more time to figure myself out.

“You don’t need time; you need to start moving again,” he said.

At first, I thought he was saying “buck up” or “quit pouting,” but I think it was more elegant than that. Perhaps even more than he realized.

Time is always there. Flowing seamlessly from day to day. One event to another event. We can’t control it. But we can control ourselves.

Saying you need “time to figure it out” is always accurate and equally redundant. Doing anything requires some amount of time.

We already have the time we need. But if you’re not trying to move forward, even if only one step at a time, it won’t matter if you have five days or 50 years.

All problems are solved by taking small steps forward.

But the only way understand is first to be so low that you can’t do anything. A pity party, if you will.

Take the time you need to let out your emotions. Vent to anyone who cares about you. They will listen.

But it’s still on you to move forward. Just like it’s on me right now.

First, do one small thing. Tomorrow, do a little bit more. Repeat.

Advertisements